Unfinished business of unsorted feelings left in a diary of high school time... Re-opening a time capsule message to the present you.
Ketika dalam perjalanan hidupmu yang berliku, kamu sampai di satu titik menghadap ke tembok di gang buntu yang gelap. Terdiam tanpa bisa kembali ke belakang dan terduduk memikirkan langkah berikutnya. Memanjat kau tak punya tali. Menggali kau tak punya sekop maupun drill. Menghancurkan dinding dengan kekuatan batin lebih tidak mungkin lagi. Ketika itu, kamu teringat lagi pada kenangan di masa lalu ketika semua hal terasa begitu indah, baik-baik saja, cerah dan bebas sebebas mentari menyinari bumi. Kamu berharap ada satu orang yang mengenalmu dari masa lalu, datang kembali ke masa kini dan menjemputmu keluar dari jalan buntu itu. Tentunya berdiam diri tidak akan membawamu kemana-mana kan?
Like a prince in shining armor. Riding a white horse to pick up the lost princess and live happily ever after..... aha. I dreamt of such thing once, until reality hits me hard that my very much of lovely wedding tale end up in court, leaving me with a baby boy I need to raise. Still with some kinds of post-partum depression, breastfeeding pain and joy, juggling between part-time job and child bearing, coming back to parents' house and maintaining healthy mental state. Getting ready to face people's reaction when they finally find out of my new not so beautiful status. Okay, maybe I worried too much but even in such situation, it come over me out of the blue that I miss an old friend who used to have feelings for me but definitely has long gone, after 11 years I haven't met him. How could I say that I like him for all this time, and I realize it just now? How could I wish for him to still have feelings for me especially if he knows my updated situations...? Should he fall for me out of pity? Am I allowed to have a second chance to love again? Will that be another happy ending for me?
Here I am, writing a special note to a certain someone I wish he would understand why this thing could happen. I don't ask for much, just for him to be happy with someone he deserves. In a thin silver hanging thread, through a long and dark tunnel searching for tiny light of hope.... =)
Ketika dalam perjalanan hidupmu yang berliku, kamu sampai di satu titik menghadap ke tembok di gang buntu yang gelap. Terdiam tanpa bisa kembali ke belakang dan terduduk memikirkan langkah berikutnya. Memanjat kau tak punya tali. Menggali kau tak punya sekop maupun drill. Menghancurkan dinding dengan kekuatan batin lebih tidak mungkin lagi. Ketika itu, kamu teringat lagi pada kenangan di masa lalu ketika semua hal terasa begitu indah, baik-baik saja, cerah dan bebas sebebas mentari menyinari bumi. Kamu berharap ada satu orang yang mengenalmu dari masa lalu, datang kembali ke masa kini dan menjemputmu keluar dari jalan buntu itu. Tentunya berdiam diri tidak akan membawamu kemana-mana kan?
Like a prince in shining armor. Riding a white horse to pick up the lost princess and live happily ever after..... aha. I dreamt of such thing once, until reality hits me hard that my very much of lovely wedding tale end up in court, leaving me with a baby boy I need to raise. Still with some kinds of post-partum depression, breastfeeding pain and joy, juggling between part-time job and child bearing, coming back to parents' house and maintaining healthy mental state. Getting ready to face people's reaction when they finally find out of my new not so beautiful status. Okay, maybe I worried too much but even in such situation, it come over me out of the blue that I miss an old friend who used to have feelings for me but definitely has long gone, after 11 years I haven't met him. How could I say that I like him for all this time, and I realize it just now? How could I wish for him to still have feelings for me especially if he knows my updated situations...? Should he fall for me out of pity? Am I allowed to have a second chance to love again? Will that be another happy ending for me?
Here I am, writing a special note to a certain someone I wish he would understand why this thing could happen. I don't ask for much, just for him to be happy with someone he deserves. In a thin silver hanging thread, through a long and dark tunnel searching for tiny light of hope.... =)
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