I just knew this word when I checked the dictionary for thesaurus of 'anger'. At first, I wanted to use 'rage' for the title but the meaning was not something I expect to be.
Rage: a strong feeling of uncontrollable anger. It was classified as "extreme anger" in the thesaurus of 'anger'. Wow, I didn't knew that it has such degree.
Anyway, I wanted to write about my own anger, the feeling of wanting to hurt or criticize someone because they have done something bad to me, or being unkind to me, copying the definition from Longman Dictionary.
Yeah, I feel like being mistreated. Like, it's not the way it's supposed to be. I don't deserve this. That person should not treat me like a piece of junk, leaving me with a little baby, back to my parents' house.
And here, I live with my little brother again who is kinda frustrated with himself. With his study, with his life. I hate the way he isolates himself from the other members of the family, like me, mom or dad. He ates when everyone has finished, or started earlier. He throws his temper to me, mom or dad when something bad happens to his study, like when he fail again in one subject. That he fail because of me, or mom, or dad. While mom and dad provide him for his living, pay his tuition fees, feed him, provide him with money he needs, etc. Sometimes he throw his anger to me, saying that I got jealous of him, that's why he failed many times and I don't want to see him success, sort of thing.
That's so much unreasonable, knowing that I have my own problems of managing my money, raising kid, and try not to fall into depression that may stop the flowing of my own breastmilk. Or stuffs.
It is unreasonable, but I should not talk back, no matter what. That's what my mom said. "He's sick", she said. As always. And indeed. He's sick. He's sick so it's okay for him to get mad at wrong subject. It's okay not to wash his own dishes when he finished eating. It's okay to do whatever he wants.
I tried to understand that he lives a hard life, being operated many times for cancer, failed 8 times on one subject, his brother graduated and work earlier than him makes him feels more inferior, I guess... I tried to understand that him being "not independent" to take care of himself is something that will change as time goes by, but...
I just feel something isn't right but, maybe for now, I should handle my own resentment toward him, and learn to forgive.
Not for him, just for my own well-being.... sort of.
Rage: a strong feeling of uncontrollable anger. It was classified as "extreme anger" in the thesaurus of 'anger'. Wow, I didn't knew that it has such degree.
Anyway, I wanted to write about my own anger, the feeling of wanting to hurt or criticize someone because they have done something bad to me, or being unkind to me, copying the definition from Longman Dictionary.
Yeah, I feel like being mistreated. Like, it's not the way it's supposed to be. I don't deserve this. That person should not treat me like a piece of junk, leaving me with a little baby, back to my parents' house.
And here, I live with my little brother again who is kinda frustrated with himself. With his study, with his life. I hate the way he isolates himself from the other members of the family, like me, mom or dad. He ates when everyone has finished, or started earlier. He throws his temper to me, mom or dad when something bad happens to his study, like when he fail again in one subject. That he fail because of me, or mom, or dad. While mom and dad provide him for his living, pay his tuition fees, feed him, provide him with money he needs, etc. Sometimes he throw his anger to me, saying that I got jealous of him, that's why he failed many times and I don't want to see him success, sort of thing.
That's so much unreasonable, knowing that I have my own problems of managing my money, raising kid, and try not to fall into depression that may stop the flowing of my own breastmilk. Or stuffs.
It is unreasonable, but I should not talk back, no matter what. That's what my mom said. "He's sick", she said. As always. And indeed. He's sick. He's sick so it's okay for him to get mad at wrong subject. It's okay not to wash his own dishes when he finished eating. It's okay to do whatever he wants.
I tried to understand that he lives a hard life, being operated many times for cancer, failed 8 times on one subject, his brother graduated and work earlier than him makes him feels more inferior, I guess... I tried to understand that him being "not independent" to take care of himself is something that will change as time goes by, but...
I just feel something isn't right but, maybe for now, I should handle my own resentment toward him, and learn to forgive.
Not for him, just for my own well-being.... sort of.
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